How To Deal With Self Doubt

 

The mind. It’s complex, intricate and holds everything from our movements, thoughts and emotions. Only recently have I learned that in order to pave the life that I want, that I must learn how to manage it. Throughout our lives, we have countless thoughts that run through our minds that control our reactions and how we feel about different situations.

This was especially apparent while I was studying for the GMAT exam when applying to the MBA program. I spent countless months with millions of thoughts racing through my head. Everything from “so and so only wrote this once and got a 730” to “maybe I’m just not cut out to do an MBA”. The power of your thoughts have a huge impact on self confidence, mood and faith. There were more moments of me doubting myself than believing in myself, to the extent where I started to convince myself that maybe I’m not cut out for a post graduate education, that maybe I’m already content with what I have and that I’m just not as smart as others.

On the contrary, there’s also the other part of your mind. It’s the part that keeps nagging and makes you feel guilty for everything you haven’t done. It’s probably the same part that makes you feel guilty when you know you have an exam to study for, but you’re procrastinating instead. The part of the mind that never shuts up. With everything I did, there would be a constant reminder of my yearning to achieve a goal I’ve always set out for myself.

Ever since I was a little girl, something in me always told me I wanted to do a graduate degree. Although there’s many ways to make money and countless ways to define success, this was the one for me. And to be honest, without it, I felt kind of empty. That may sound a bit crazy, like “woah, chill out, life goes on”, and I’m fully aware of that! It’s just, I couldn’t rest or feel content until this goal I’ve set out for myself is finally accomplished.

There’s a saying that says “if it was easy, everyone would do it”, and this is very true. I personally feel that what differentiates people that accomplish their goals to those that don’t comes down to how badly they want it. It’s not how smart you are, or how much resources you have, or whatever else. There’s a reason why there’s some people who achieve everything they put their mind to and why others constantly don’t achieve what they say they’re planning to do. If you’re constantly thinking about it, if it bothers you in your sleep, and if you feel empty and not content without it, then you need to go for it.

This is how I feel about the MBA, with working in the fashion industry and with blogging. I kept thinking about it all the damn time. When I finally reminded myself why I wanted to do all these things, that was the push I needed to keep going. Every time any doubt or negativity entered my mind, I had a list of reasons of “why I can and why I should” to remind myself why this path is the one for me. I truly believe that if a goal or dream is genuinely your own, then your heart will always yearn for it.

The same thought process would apply when it’s other people doubting you too. I’ve had some people doubt me along the way, like “that’s a nice thought sweetheart”. Sometimes, it came from a genuine place. And sometimes some may have a negative opinion about it, not necessarily because they’re not happy for you, but it may not be the path for them. And that’s fine. Everyone has their own goals and dreams, and I don’t expect people to understand why I do the things that bring me joy.

At the end of the day, achieving your goals comes down to you. Resources, support and self doubt all pose as challenges and obstacles that differ from person to person, but at the very core, the only real limit is yourself. Every time you or someone else doubts your abilities to achieve your goal, remind yourself why it’s worth it. Constantly remind yourself why you have to achieve the goal and why it’ll be worth it in the end. With this constant reminder, I promise you that once you start taking those first few strides towards the right direction, you’ll want to start running with it.

 

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